MINE TOO

Lolol.

(:

I love talking to Cassie && Lyndsey xD

I want to be a mime for halloween. :D

Yes..

Yesss.

YESSS

I wanna go swimming.

Those days are gone forever, I should just let them go.

I'm not that girl anymore.

Cassaundra Marie Matiska

Thank you.
I was beginning to lose myself.
But I found me.
You always listen to me and never let me get out of line.
You are the truest friend I have ever met and I'm so glad I found you.
I can face the world without fear because I know you will always be there for me.
Thank you

People killing, people dying.

Why can't I get a little sad and show actual emotion with out being too emotional?

Why can't we love anymore.

We've gotten lazy and selfish.

Everyday I am on LGMH and GMH.

Waiting for a miracle.

My friends give me hope.

They show love and don't judge me.

They are some of the best people I have ever met and I'm sorry if that's not okay with you.

You say they are "Emo's"

Why labels?

Why are we all subject to your judgment, you aren't better than anyone.

Just call them people.

People that are perfectly imperfect.

People that care for other people, not just what they can get out of it.

Why can't we just put aside our petty judgments and see what's underneath.

Why can't we break through the outer shell and rough exterior and just accept people.

Why do we hate people we don't even know.

Cassie was right.

Except, I think blind people are the only ones that can really see.

We are all blinded by images of what we think people should be.

And they see us.

Why can't we see us?

Why are we blind?

Lololol. The fucking people you meet on MySpace! >=| Srsly.

bi-polor.It sucks that I'm sad almost all the time.I try to make myself happy,but it is hard.It sucks when you start out your day really sad,but in other day I start out really happy.Idk whats wrong with me.Anywho Im really sweet(a sweetheart).I care for people,sometimes more than I do myself.My favorite color is green.I enjoy listening to rock,pop,techno,rap,r&b,screamo,and thats it no opera or country for me.If you wanna know me send me a comment or a message.Oh yah one more thing I hate drama and liars and two faced people.Oh and a final thing watch what you say,cus my bi-polor.Thanks . If I had one wish is that it take away my depressin and bi-polor,they suck

So... you said you're... happy? >_>

I can tell you my love for you will still be strong after the boys of summer have gone.

I love that song.
School soon.
....
I'm starting high school in two weeks.
God help me.

Seriously?! Gtfo.

K, so. I really truly seriously fucking hate you.

Guess what?! My middle name IS MARIE ANTOINETTE.

I didn't add shit to it. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Guess what I DO know what the fuck anemia is.

Just because your mom is a physch nurse doesn't mean you know everything about everything.

I'm sick of you. Just because you were my friend once really doesn't mean anything.

I tried to be nice. And to be your friend. But I really just can't do it anymore.

Good-bye.

Holding on. The days drag on.

I'd rather skinny dip than chunky dunk. 

Thinspiration.

It'll be easy.

I only want to see underneath the purple rain

It's almost high school. && at the rate I'm going they are going to eat me alive.
I can't use my disorder as an excuse. Just because I have a mood disorder does not mean I can act like this towards people. I'm not blaming her and I'm done blaming him. I have had a damn good life. With beautiful friends. Inside and out. I've known more happiness than some people, more than a lot of people actually. If I keep looking at the past I will never see the future. It's over for a reason, and this is where I'm at now. I'm making a new blog, and getting rid of all my old blogs. They mean nothing now. I'm going to try my damnedest to be nice. If I'm just nicer and clear my head I'll be happier, it makes perfect sense. If you are an asshole to people it's not because you are miserable, it makes you miserable. It's a nasty habit and makes you wonder five minutes later why you are such a fucking bitch. I'm done with it, I'm done with pushing people out of my life. Fuck laughter, you are your best medicine.  I'm done with this eating disorder shit. I'm done cutting and I am done judging. I love everyone. No matter how they've treated me. No matter how I've treated them. No matter what.

If you really knew me (I've made it longer)

If you really knew me you would know that my dog is the only one who truly loves me.


If you really knew me, you would know I only have one friend that I haven't either lost faith in or completely fucked it up.

If you really knew me, you would know that everyday I hate myself more and more.

If you really knew me, you would know I pass myself off as a prep to impress someone who I hate.

If you really knew me, you would know that I force myself to act like a person I never have been and never will be in front of the person I call my best friend, just so he'll like me, just so I'm not alone.

If you really knew me, you would know that I blame myself for my father leaving the first time.

If you really knew me you would know that I think about suicide every single day.

If you really knew me, you would know that almost everyone hates me, and thinks I'm an awful person.

If you really knew me, you would know that I hurt myself a lot over someone who broke up with me a year ago.

If you really knew me, you would know I've never felt so lonely in my life.

If you really knew me, you would know that I fell in love with my best friend and then to impress him started a fight with some the best people I have ever met.

If you really knew me you would know that I got the worst out of both of my parents and have serious problems.

If you really knew me you would know that in the fall I am starting high school all alone.


If you really knew me you would know that I'm afraid of letting people go because I know they'll be much better without me.


If you really knew me, you would know that I want desperately to go back to last summer, and live the fall, winter, spring and beginning of this summer over.


If you really knew me, you would know that I freak out when I don't take my pills because I can't stand to be around myself for more than twelve hours out of the day.


If you really knew me, you would know that even though I try so hard to be, I'm never happy for one whole day, even if everything goes perfect. I still find flaws, if you really knew me you would know I get that from my mother, and she's the one who gives me the most shit for it.


If you really knew me you would know, that I used to hate my dad for leaving, and for just not being there for me. But now I realize he's the only one who can really understand me. Because he understands himself and my mother.


If you really knew me, you would know that I listen to me && my ex best friends song every day, Time After Time -Cyndi Lauper.


If you really knew me you would know that I miss you. A lot. 

I plead insanity.

&& you'd speak of your loved ones, as I clumsily strummed my guitar.