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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I'm trying not to be pissed at one of my close friends. :/ whatever time for the the ol' fml.com

Today, I went to use my dad's computer for a moment to check my e-mail while visiting him. He'd forgotten that he'd left his Facebook open with dirty messages back and forth with my mum. They've been divorced for over a decade, and he's remarried since. FML

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend answered a phone call from her mom. She proceeded to have a short conversation while I was still inside her. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I took a really nice shower together. When we were done, he lied down on the bed and asked me to dress him as if he were a baby. Whenever I'd ask for help, he'd remind me that he was a baby and therefore could not help me put on his clothes for him. FML

Today, I attempted to flirt with my next door neighbor/crush by changing with the bedroom curtains open. When I was completely naked, I got a call from him asking me to close the blinds because I was scaring not only him but his little sister. FML

Today, I found out that while I was away at camp two months ago my boyfriend of nine months slept with two of my close friends. The only thing he said when I confronted him was "Well, I don't care what you think about me.Just please don't get mad at your friends, I care about them a lot." Thanks. FML

Today, I was sitting in a slightly obscured field next to a lake with my boyfriend. We started having sex, thinking the trees would give us some cover. But after a few minutes we heard cheering, so we stopped and looked towards the lake to see a group of about fifteen people watching us and egging us on. FML

Today, my brother told me he would have sex with me if we weren't related. Now we have to have a serious conversation about what is and isn't appropriate in a brother-sister relationship. FML

Today, my girlfriend found my secret panty stash. Now she thinks I'm cheating on her with another girl, but I'm not. They're mine. FML

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